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Im 30 yrs old very happy married to a wonderful man (Nathan) i have a 7yr old son (Lochlan) and one on the way! We live in a town called Davistown. Im an aussie that use to live in the states! But have recently returned back to Australia! And im VERY passionate about cooking and my family!

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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dealing with Stuff



Yup that pretty much sums up what i have been up to since my last post... So we found out we were pregnant again....i should be thrilled right?? Well sadly i am not... just after a week of finding out we were pregnant....my worst fear took place...i started spotting and that was it i knew everything i had been fearing was coming to life.. :( We lost our second angel baby last thursday... i placed it in a princess keepsake and we burried it under the rose of sharon bush in the backyard that over looks Lochlans play area... we placed flowers from the garden on it and had a moment of silence...and lots of tears :( No doctors for me this time around as we are with out health care...and seeing i am not a US Citizen i can not get healthy start like my son... so i went threw this miscarriage at home with no idea what to expect other then horror stories i had read online... I dont know what else to say other then... I really dont know what to do half of the time... i have been sick pretty much since a couple of days prior to loosing the baby... and i am still sick... im resting as much as i can BUT when you have nothing to do your mind can be painful... In the last week i have experienced every emotion i could possibly go threw and then some... Tonight i am well a little calmer i guess but still sadden at the thought ive lost another child :( laying in bed last night... or should i say thismorning as it was 3am i realised i would have been almost 25weeks had i not lost sweetpea... painful...so painful to think about that.. I have so many questions i want answered... but the answers wont come until i get back to australia and i find a good doctor down there... YES we are still in the states... And will still be here till probably end of october due to migration paper work and other junk that i dont feel like going into..... Anyway i have a few recipes to share with you all but not in this post... In the next couple of days i will throw them up.... I hope you are all well and enjoying what will soon be the end of summer for most of you all who read this blog.